Sunday, March 10, 2013

My Winning Essay! What Not To Do In A Job Interview!!!

A previously posted photo above that represents some of my blogging career!
I thought some of you might enjoy my winning essay. I know it is a bit long, but truthful, none the less. You just can't make this stuff up!!! Jennifer Cornell over at Three Dogs in a Garden hosted the contest and I won a beautiful handmade bracelet that she designed. Jennifer, is a woman of many talents and has visited my blog for quite a while now. She is a master gardener and her photos are sure to mesmerize you! She encouraged me to enter her contest and so I did. You can view the rules here. Make us laugh, was the category that caught my attention and the following event immediately came to mind! It might be more humorous after a couple of glasses of wine...maybe to early for that! Enjoy!!!


What Not To Do In A Job Interview!!!



Many years ago, about forty just to narrow it down, I managed a fabric store shortly after graduation from college. The job was OK but I longed for something a little more challenging. Informed  of an area manager’s position for a competing fabric company, I made a phone call! A pleasant voice answered and informed me that the district manager would be in my area, he would call me shortly.

I answered the long black collector of coins in the back of the store, “can you meet me today,” barked a stern voice! “Sure where shall we meet,” I asked? “How about the steak house across the street from the mall.” “Sounds good, 1:00PM.”

So now the stage is set and the series of events that followed could not have been fabricated even if I tried! There are embarrassing moments in one’s life that one simply cannot forget! But it’s what we take from the event that matters! Right?

A very stern tall fiftyish man, in a rumpled gray suit and pencil thin tie, reeking of an Old Spice, Aqua Velva cocktail greeted me with a firm handshake. My then slender knees began to buckle. Slightly intimidated, we ordered our food, honestly I don’t remember having a bite! The questions came fast and furious, all the while gulping his carnivorous morsels of flesh in between the interrogation! 

Offense number one: Finally, Mr. Stern Face, suggested that I fill out an application and asked if I had a pen! Yes, as I reached down into my faux leather disorganized container of everything un-necessary. Grabbing onto a slender instrument that my automatic pilot assured me was a pen, I drew it up in a cigarette like position between three fingers. It went directly up to my ear, without a glance I held it there tapping my head while reading over the application. Looking up to ask a question, Mr. Drop Your Jaw, had an unusual and perplexing look of horror about him. He was staring at my ear. I knew my ear to be of normal size, I quickly realized that it was my pen he focused upon! Dare I look? Oh what to heck!!! Can you only imagine??? In my haste I had accidentally retrieved a tampon! That's right a tampon! I could feel the rush and flush of blood take over my entire body. Heart pounding, hands sweating, my inner voice kept telling me to make a joke of it. “Oh, silly me, can’t write with this can I,” I muttered. Be still my heart! I managed to calm myself down! My breathing went back to a normal but disjointed rhythm.

Offense number two: The bill arrived and I fully expected Mr. Cheapskate, to pay! He firmly announced that my share was seven dollars. For sure I knew that only three dollars swam aimlessly about in my faux leather. Horrified once again, I confessed to the shortage. Reluctantly he paid the bill and we departed on a surreal kind of note. 

Offense number three: Leaving the parking lot in a rush to get back to work I got stuck behind a rather pokey old shark finned red cadillac. Please go I thought and proceeded to lean on my horn. Totally out of character for me, but remember I was somewhat rattled! Yup you guessed it, it was him, Mr. Speedy! He waved and let me pass on by!

Mary Mother of the Arc Angels, could this interview have been more of a disaster? Well I’ll just have to chalk this one up to experience, I thought! Kiss this one goodbye, jingled in my head! Can you only imagine the conversation back at his office water cooler! 

Several days later, Mr. Nice Guy, offered me the job!!!!! Yikes, was he desperate or what? Relaying the entire incident to my husband, I decided to decline the offer as there was too much traveling involved and we had a very young daughter. 

Well folks I learned early on what not to do in a job interview, but mostly to have the ability to laugh and learn from my mistakes, pick myself up and move forward! People still roar all these years later when I tell the story! I am who I am, I can’t seem to fix it, unusual events seem to accessorize my life challenging me always to keep on laughing! A sense of humor, yes that’s the key! Maybe a bizarre sense of humor, but a sense of humor, none the less and we won’t even talk about me almost crazy gluing my grand-daughter’s lips together!

I also received Post of the Week from Hilary over at The Smitten Image. Thanks Hilary!
Have a great day! 

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33 comments:

Gail Dixon (Louisiana Belle) said...

Oh, Rosemary, you had me laughing! A tampon for a pen?! I must say it sounds like you dodged a bullet. This man doesn't seem like he would've been a good person to work for at all. It sure makes for a funny story, even all these years later. :)

TexWisGirl said...

oh, too funny! what a mess that was!

Nancy said...

Congratulations on your win Rosemary; it certainly was deserved....I am still laughing from all the bizarre events of your story..Sounds like you learned the importance of humor at a young age.....

Gail Fevig said...

Proud of where you have ended up. The sum of our experiences. Great accomplishments.

She Who Carries Camera said...

Oh My Gosh! I got a good chuckle from that! I, too, have some doozies from my past. You just have to laugh and learn!

Tricia Hays said...

Very very beautiful flower collage, each & every single image!
WoW! That had to be an interview for the record books... kudos on your amazing sense of humor, I don't think I'd have emerged quite so elegantly on the other side =0

Laurrie said...

Hysterical! I could feel my anxiety level rising with each disaster during the interview. But you lived through it and can laugh. Well done!

Grandma Barb's This and That said...

No need for wine to make this more humorous. It's hysterical! I think I would have died if it had been me. But you laughed and made a great story out of it.!

MarmePurl said...

...and that it why I like your blog so much!

Deanna said...

Oh my, didn't know whether to gasp or break out in laughter when I read about the "pen" placement. Funny, funny story, you are right, couldn't make that stuff up. Thanks for the entertainment!!

kkkkaty said...

You were on a roll; funny how a series of events go wrong at once instead of just one thing...but I would have been embarrassed, too, and my face red hot..thanks for sharing the gorgeous photos and the story, Rosemary ;)

Nancy Claeys said...

Oh good grief! And I thought I had some bad job interview experiences! This is priceless. xo

Barbara said...

CONGRATS on winning and thank you for following and leaving such a nice comment on my blog. I love your posts and photos, so I'll be your newest follower.

Kerri said...

Oh my ..... what a story!
and an absolutely stunning Mosaic!

Jennifer said...

Thanks so much for participating and contributing such a great winning entry Rosemary! This is such a funny story with some great wisdom behind it.

Snap said...

Congratulations! I laughed all the way through your story. The truth is amazing isn't it -- can't make it up! Enjoyed the lovely collage, too!

Barb Brookbank said...

Thank you so much for sharing this well-written and engaging story! I had a good laugh!

Tina´s PicStory said...

wonderful mosaic! :)

Tracey from Haiku.You.Do said...

Oh my goodness, that was quite an interview! One for the memory books for sure! LOL!

bettyl said...

Can't.......stop....giggling....!!!!!

Charlotte Wilson said...

Rosemary! What a hoot! That is just too funny! Thanks for the laughs!

Lisa Gordon said...

Although I'm sure it wasn't at the time, this is hilarious, Rosemary!! Thank you so much for the smiles, and for sharing it here. A winner for sure!

Tricia said...

Oh my, that sounds like a nightmare! It makes for a good memory though :)

Hilary said...

Oh Rosemary, that was a hoot. I did the same thing once.. pulled a tampon (which had worked its way out of the little paper wrapper in the mess of my purse) to sign a cheque. So I know exactly how that one felt. You do indeed need to keep a good sense of humour about you. And it's probably just as well that you didn't accept that job. There were probably strings attached. ;)

Hilary said...

Oh and congrats on the win. :)

Carola Bartz said...

OMG, this was too funny. I had the feeling that he would offer you the job - so he might have some sense of humor as well. You never know.
I enjoyed reading this very much. Congratulations on winning - well deserved!

Debbie said...

hehe, should we laugh or cry! The mosaic is so colorful and pretty! A wonderful entry!!

The Artful Diva said...

Hilarious story, Rosemary!

Dave said...

Funny story Rosemary. Yes, some job interviews can turn out not quite as expected. Well done for getting Hilary's Post of the Week - Dave

TexWisGirl said...

came back to say congrats on your POTW!

Sandi McBride said...

Congrats on Post of the Week...what a hoot, lol...my favorite was the tampon pen and you would be surprised at how many women that will resonate with...I too have pulled a tampon in public and as a retired law enforcement officer I stand by my right to remain silent on the subject!
sandi

Kerry said...

hahaha! Great story! I can so easily picture the tampon scene. I wonder if you think of this every time you search for a pen in your purse.

Honking at him was a hilarious mistake, but he took it for friendliness, so no harm done.

Randall Cogburn said...

Yep, that was funny Rosemary :). I seem to have those odd times when something horrible goes wrong.

~Randall

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